I was overjoyed to be reunited with my brothers’ Facebook friends after his passing from a short battle with lung cancer  His friends from many years back,found me when I posted my appreciation for sharing my family’s grief in several pages of his close friends’ Facebook accounts.  I was excited to put new faces in the names familiar to me when I was growing up.   There were exchanges of life experiences, plans for meeting, and promises to keep in touch.  For that I, am grateful because I discovered my brother’s life in the eyes of many strangers.

Facebook is my  travel book.  I go to my Friends’ accounts to check out their travels.  It also serves me as  biographical books, as I watch my friends’ kids get married and raise children.  I can visit their homes and gardens with just a few clicks of my finger, or check out new cuisine, or visit them at the hospital when they are ailing.  I also enjoy flipping through my friends’ accounts and watch parties and wedding happen simultaneously.  Facebook is my virtual world of flowers and cakes, hugs and kisses, joys and sorrows, etc.

However, there are days when I have to gather my composure before I open my Facebook.  As much as I accept and embrace our mortality, there’s a big part of me that can’t let go of life.

A few days after I returned to the US, after my brother’s internment, I was shocked to learn from my Newsfeeds  that 2 of my brother’s friends and my nephew passed away.  I guess there will be no more reunions with them when I return to the Philippines. Dealing with death is like losing something you know you will never find again.  It is not just a painful experience, but rather one that is lasting; something you will take with you until you see your own last light get snuffed out.

As I approach 60, a great deal of  my friends can surely relate to my battles with aging.  Needless to say, everyone can contribute to the long list of health issues associated with aging.  Issues, which I wish they have better names for.  Remember the last heartburn you had that mimicked a heart attack?

The fatigue, the lack of energy, the restlessness, the over excitement which I used to associate with my hard partying life in my youth, are now what I call  “TERROR FACTORS,” enough to drive me to an emergency visit to the hospital.

Many must be wondering where this chat is going to?  Well….. Just keep posting!   I’m waiting for your next post.




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